tomatoes and doves

I am cutting myself some serious slack with the posts/drawings this past week. You see, there was a wedding that my girls were in, and that I helped out with a little. It happened today, and what a beautiful and celebratory day it was.

Ok, so it happened Sunday... Apparently I am still cutting myself some slack. It takes some doing to get back in the swing of normal, non-partying it up life. In case you wanted to know, Jude told me this morning that I am "so nice, like a little tomato". Yep, the boy knows how to give a girl a compliment.

Doves. A little something I'm working on.

The day after Easter

There are several things that tell me (other than my fatigue) that this weekend was a long one:

8:30 AM and all the kids are still asleep.

The sliding van doors and back hatch were all still open this morning from last night's child and food unloading.

The keys were still in the lock. At least I drew the deadbolt.

9:30 AM, and one child is STILL sleeping!

I feel that perhaps I should have blogged more seriously about Easter, and what it means to me personally. But in spite of my trying to de-easterbunny this holiday, it still was fairly overtaken by kiddie fun.

But every day, I experience this reality. As I struggle with my own weakness, and again and again get filled. As I make mistake after mistake and find grace. I am given a free pass to speak to God, to feel his presence, to daily know the death that brings me life, and the resurrection that allows me over and over again, to die to my old self. It overwhelms me.

Happy Easter.

And here are some eggs. Oh, how I love these eggs. Pastel on board.

the day before Easter

These wild children have had enough of each other. And I have had enough of spring break. I wish that we had the kind of week where we all realize how much we like one another. A week when, at the end, we all settle in with a flop, and sigh, "... I love my family..." I don't think that it didn't happen just because we don't have superpowers. It does happen sometimes; we feel all the warm, contented things that we're supposed to feel about family.

Ok. I was just interrupted by screams. The loud kind. Case in point. But after a time of discipline and a time of "steam roller"(don't ask), I'm actually getting the warm fuzzies. See, all I needed to do was blog about it, and presto, perfection achieved. Right? Ha! Not just yet.

But today was good. My small people are clean, and asleep, and they egg-hunted to their hearts content. Dan and I sat at the kitchen table and he played his guitar, and I drew. Now THAT doesn't happen too often. It was lovely. The resulting drawing is somewhat mediocre, but it does bear a resemblance to Vivi, staring out the window and trying hard to fight her instincts, which are to look right at me and grin.

springy

I've been sighting the groundhog on our back hill this week. The girls named her Jesus a couple of years ago. I love that. What's more, this morning, the chipmunk is out in a posture of absolute commitment, chirping away, calling for a mate. Stock still, determined on the back step. He knows what's up. Seriously, the little dude has been at it for the last two hours, and he's showing no signs of stopping, his little cheeks puffing up rhythmically.

I have been really uninspired by the things around me, when it comes to drawing. I'm going to see if I can rope the kids into posing for me today. I know their attention spans won't deliver much of a sitting, but even a few minutes of sketching from life should put me back in a good head space.

Ok. A barely acceptable section. Rowan's eyes and nose.

European weeping scribbelicious

I think this tree might be my favorite ever. There are a lot of trees to love. So many graceful shapes, gorgeous colors, stunning leaves. But the European weeping beech tree is just a waterfall of jade leaves, that to me just scream art nouveau. And I can't look away. This is a scribbly rendition of my dear favorite. I am looking forward to when this guy is sprouting leaves. It won't be long now!

Oh, and the girls went to see Pinkalicious the musical today, so that was nice. And what on earth is this spring break before Easter in PA thing???? I'm still such a Delaware girl.

Aqua-ish circles

I am a slacker. These posts are slowing way down. I'm trying to not be okay with that. But it's hard; complacency seems to be my default setting. Today's drawing was done on shrink film. I photographed it before shrinking, arranged them in a design I found attractive, and popped then into the oven.

So I love shrinky-dinks. Sue me. These are little circles (in case you didn't recognize that obscure shape), colored with prismacolors to look kinda like trompe l'oeil spheres. I arranged them as closely as I could to the original design, and attached them together. It's an assymetric necklace. To me, it felt like making a little abstract painting. And it took a while, so that's what we've got for tonight!

and this is how I feel

I'm pretty pissed off right now. I'm vaguely aware that that might be vulgar or crass or unseemly of me to say. But that is how I feel, and it isn't pretty.

I feel like I'm fighting off an anxiety attack, and keeping at bay my tendency to list my grievances, thereby blowing up my present frustration to epic proportions. I feel like I'm mad at my kids for being sick, and mad at myself for not being able to make them better. They were pretty much on the verge of being all better, after weeks of one thing after another after another. And now they are going downhill again, due to not enough rest, or a newly loosened batch of mucous in their lungs, or Daddy picking up a new bug from his weekend away, or all of the above.

But this is my life, and we are going to take it one hour at a time, one dose of medicine at a time, and I'm going to take a deep breath and stop clutching frantically at my head. And I'm going to sketch a little and pray a lot, and rest now, while I can.