Baby Boy

Jude is seven weeks old today, and that really seems a tiny amount of time to have been aquainted with him.  He is working out some of his digestive issues, and I have hope that the doctor's assessment that he might "give me a hard time" may prove false.  It has been a while since I have cried in desperation in the middle of the night, and he is waking up only once to nurse.  He now he weighs about 13lbs.  Having a boy already seems different to me... maybe it's the singleton factor, but it's very new.  Not in an easier way, just different.  Jude is very intense, and watches me around the room, cries plaintively to be picked up, and makes crazy eye contact with me.  He also is showing a preference for mommy that the girls never displayed.  Maybe this is a boy thing, maybe just a different personality.  Also, he smiles and coos so conversationally, it seems miraculous to me - I had to wait so long for that with the twins, mostly because of their prematurity, I suppose.  Anyway, I love him.

snow day

Genevieve was enthralled with the snowballs, even though the snow was not ideal, and they kept falling apart, she just kept asking for another one, and experimented with biting it, stomping on it, trying to bounce it, karate chopping it, and was sad to have to finally leave it on the porch.  Thanks, Nya-Nya, for staying inside with Jude!

I am so glad that I got off of my butt to take the girls outside today.  They loved it, and it was good for me to breathe the air.  This is our back door.  Not the pretty yellow one, the far away one.  But I think that I might need to make a painting somehow using this image... I've been feeling the itch pretty seriously lately, and there is really not much opportunity to scratch it!  Alas, three kids 2 years and younger leaves me with a lot of ideas, but not a lot of get-up-and-go.

Rowan has a really hard time making a normal face for the camera - she says "cheese" instantly (I did not teach her this!), and gives me a phony smile.  This is a pretty close to normal picture... she did not realize that I was already taking the picture I guess.  These girls are such darlings, when I take a breath and decide to enjoy them.  The work is way beyond worth it.  I wish Dan could have been out here to enjoy this with us - he is the biggest kid when it comes to snow, and in general, everything is more fun when he joins in!

sigh.

So we are all sick here.  nasty, drippy, coughing, sick.  RSV is what the baby has, so probably we all have it, although it's not dangerous for us older-than-6-week-olds.  We all seem to be rehabilitating well enough, though, including Jude.  This morning I went to get the girls up, and found Genevieve, pitiful and still, face and hands covered in dried blood.  What a horror show.  This has happened before, so the shock is not what it once was.  I was tempted to take a picture, not because it was funny, it wasn't, but just so I could force someone else (Dan) to share my morning's experience.  Nosebleeds were something I dealt with as a kid, so it's familiar ground.

I had my postpartum checkup this week, and all systems are go, which is good news, and much to my surprise, my weight is what it was at my very first OB appointment.  This was completely unexpected, since I am nowhere near fitting into the clothes that I was wearing at that point.  It will be a good year, probably, before I can recognize myself.  But these things matter not at all in comparison with the job of mothering these 3 babes.  This is the toughest, scariest thing I have ever had to do.  It's driven home when illness strikes - I reflect on being responsible for lives, actual human lives.  Not just in rearing, discipline, self esteem, etc., but their very lives.  Frightening stuff.   The whole mom thing has been pretty rough lately.  I love my girls, but they are stretching me in ways I could not have imagined.  I guess it's just the age and the new baby, but good lord!  We are praying for patience - what else is there to do?  Any thoughts on spanking?