to paint the sunset

 I had started a post over the weekend about this place. I will finish it later, because sometimes, more important things crop up.

On Friday, Dan fell from a ladder. He was  working on my parents house. He is ok, resting and very bruised and battered. Not to mention 24 stitches in his left leg. He could've injured himself much more seriously, and as I try to take care of him and encourage him to sit still, I am thankful that he didn't break any bones, or hit his head, or suffer a back injury that would take away his ability to work.  We were protected, and though it might be a bit tough for a week or so, it's a temporary difficulty. 

It's hard to express the things that float through your mind when you contemplate what ifs and might-have-beens.  Its silly, in a way, but I can't always shut off my mind.  And a reality check is definitely a good thing. None of us are invincible.  None of us have a guaranteed allotment of years.  We can't wait for tomorrow to say the things that need to be said, or pay attention to the people that are put into our lives.  

All of this is very cliche, I know, but so often the thoughts that matter are hard to grasp, and when we try, it comes out a little cheesy. It's like trying to paint the sunset.

living here

I love living here.  The Williamson campus is delightful for kids.  Pretty gardens, gazebos, fountain, whispering wall, playground, stream, bridge, brick pathways, secret shady nooks, trees to climb.  

Trees with various seed pods, berries, and nuts for nature fiends, I mean my children, to collect in mass quantities....I love that there are trees here that I've never seen before.  Not just your average walnut, oak, maple, but every type of maple I've ever seen, with corresponding whirligigs in every size and color.  

Weeping European beech trees, whose new growth is totally pale bright green in contrast with it's deeply colored old growth and looks like art nouveau jewelry.  I do believe a posted about that tree a while back.  A little leaf linden (I know, right?), which is gigantic and spreading, but with tiny dainty leaves that look like green lace at such heights.  

Cypress trees, and knobby sycamores, tulip poplars, the world's most enormous-leaved-and-blossomed magnolias, dogwoods, pears, cherry trees, and Japanese maples with leaves so fine and foliage so cascading, that when my kids go under it to hide, the gently rustling outer surface looks like a snuffalupagus about to walk away.  You remember Snuffy, right?  It's a magical place. I need to document it and take advantage of it.

So I'm trying to do that, both with photos and these pastels I've been enjoying. And then we had to go and get a membership to the Tyler Arboretum, and sheesh! Even more amazing trees, stunning, old, twisting, incredible trees. I'm losing my mind with the possible paintings, and I've never been much for landscape.  I guess that's changing.  

Paper bark maple. More pastel.

dance and sail

I have invented a dance. It's very awkward. My son loves it, and it cracks him up. One of these days, my luck is going to run out, and someone is going to see me doing these ridiculous moves. But I can't resist his laugh.

Today I took the kids with me to church and got the second mural blocked out with black outlines.  The shrimpies were pretty well-behaved and watched a movie, but I lost track of time, so no pictures today; I had to fly out of there, run through trader joe's, and sail back home to knock out a glorious curry.  I have a mini-van, it's like a ship.  So I sail. I'm hoping you we're able to sail your way through that run-on sentence.

Ink on paper. La Luna.

vocabulary of marks

I have always deeply admired painters who could reference real life and yet be unconstrained by reality. To draw or paint what clearly could be recognized, and yet freely change the color, the shape, the volume, the texture, and use it as a simple tool of composition. A means to an end.  The end being something that in no way looks "real" or photographic, but takes on a new life, and in its originality, is life-giving in its own way.  I saw it in some of my friends, particularly one guy who was a photography student, but took a painting class, and made these stunning still lives that looked like Matisse. They were just perfect. Completely 2-dimensional, about paint and surface and exquisitely composed. 

Pierre Bonnard comes to mind, and Wolf Kahn, and Mark Rothko, if you can think of the simplicity of field and sky and the horizon line created by their kiss. Some have more depth and literal shapes than others.  But I never felt free or able to paint in that way. I always felt the constraint of reality on my shoulders. I put myself behind a fence, somehow, and couldn't break it. I couldn't find a way to make marks that spoke of the surface or the medium or the color more than the subject matter. Anyway, I'm working on that, to state it simply. And the learning curve is steep, but I'm going to enjoy it.  Pastel on bristol.

I love you

Today was a day full of goodness.  Full of family, full of kids, full of food, full of conversations, full of sun and rain and water balloons and muddy feet and fireflies.

It also happens to be Father's Day, which we celebrated with both sides of our family at once, with six fathers in attendance... We were missing a few, but overall it was still good. And it was presided over  gracefully by my host/husband extraordinaire. What a father he is. Kind, gentle, patient, spontaneous, funny, generous, protective, and humble.  He is just the best.  I'm so glad he's the father of my children.  Quirky little drawing about love. Ink on bristol.

no wonder

It's not too surprising that when you are meant to do something, and I mean MADE, formed, for a certain purpose, you will find obstacles in your way that may seem to increase as you get closer to doing that thing.  So, tough weeks?  I'm ok with you. You're a bump in my road. You're a sign that I'm getting warmer, not colder.

Trials? I will do my best to consider you pure joy, because it is you that will be used to refine me, shape my character, and the work that was begun in me will be completed.  Because God is faithful.  In finding peace with his truth, my week has improved, as you might imagine.

Today was a great day, not in any spectacular way, but in a peaceful, getting things done, enjoying the hours way.  I finished the end of the school year gifts for the girl's teachers, and they turned out pretty nicely.  They are paper flowers made from children's book pages.  But when I went to take a couple of photographs of them, they transformed into something magical, and I got a little picture happy. 3-d counts, right?  It isn't technically drawing, but it's still scratching the creative itch. 

Dull. Not sharp.

I'm in a rut of sorts. Just feeling stunted emotionally and not really connecting with the important people of my heart. Why is that? Just when I feel like I'm progressing, understanding on a small level, just what it is I'm doing here, I find myself in a never-ending pothole of dullness.

I know that I just need to push through. Push through. Push through. I'm chanting to myself, so as not to succumb to the dullness.  I've been messing around with some fun shrink film necklace designs. They count. I have to draw on them before I shrink 'em. Prismacolor on shrink film.

project

I began a new project a few weeks ago, And yesterday finished the first leg.  It's a mural project at church, for the children.  The church bought the rights to reproduce some illustrations from a children's Bible, and hired me to paint a few scenes in the stairwell on the way down to the Sunday school classrooms.  I'm not normally a big fan of depictions of Jesus; normally he looks all wrong in my opinion, but these are sweet, very simple, and stylized illustrations.  I've finished the first mural, and am moving n to the second. They are simple pictures of Jesus with children, in pretty colors.  It's been enjoyable, and the pressure is off somewhat, since the design is not mine, although I do want to do it justice.  Here's a detail that I like.  It's a dim stairwell in the afternoon, so the resolution isn't great, but you get a general sense of color and texture.

Here is a view coming up from the lower stairs to the first landing.  It wraps around both walls, and I really couldn't find a good way to photograph the whole thing. You'll have to click to see the full horizontal picture...

Here is the view from the top of the stairs. Terribly blurry, sorry about that!

I need to add 6 hrs to the day

So I just want to dive into a puddle of oil paint and splash around. I need time and ventilation and time. I don't really have either.

So what I did instead was paint a cloud with nail polish. Then it became the thought in a little girl's daydream.  Nope, not the same. But fun in a weird kinda way, especially when I get real close and sniff the nail polish fumes.

lamplighter

I have just had a flash of a vision.  Like right this moment. Not sure if I'll be able to illustrate my point, either with word or image, but I will try. Partially inspired I think, by my friends, Todd and Anna, who are working in Cambodia against human trafficking.  To go into the dark places, the hopeless places, and bring a light. To bear hope, to try. To work. To move forward. To speak a kind word. To quench someone's thirst.  To be a lamplighter.

Aaaand then I realized that the girls were about to be late for school because I'm all absorbed in the worlds most slapdash illustration, so I didn't get to actually post.   

But here it is. Pen and charcoal on matboard.

Full

The last couple of days have been very full, in the best way. It's all I can do to keep my eyes propped open, and write a few words about the good things in life.

The kids have had a lot of fun things going on, yesterday and today.  Field day, time with cousins, moon bounces, face painting, and junk food of all sorts. And Dan and I have had two nights in a row of a very full house. One night of small group, and tonight an evening with our Williamson people. It's been good.  

Dan is already asleep on the sofa, and I am pretty close myself.  I just wanted to say that I am so glad to have a husband who loves to entertain, and is never happier than when feeding a houseful of people from various areas of our life.  He has made me a more flexible person, and I love seeing him bustle about, making burgers, grilling, filling drinks. It's been a good weekend so far.