update

When I am feeling especially nauseous, and frequently running to the bathroom to get rid of the thing that I ate, which, apparently was the WRONG thing to eat, my girls are very gracious and supportive.  They stand behind me, pat my back, lay their heads on me, and say, "ok mama, ok mama" over and over again.  They also hand me bits of toilet paper, quarter sized, to help handle the mess.  Then, when I come back to the living room, they understand that I need some comfort, and obligingly sit on my head.  Well, they don't both actually fit on my head, so one usually ends up on my neck/shoulder area.  Either way, this is a strange sensation, probably closest to being sat on by a very good-natured octopus.  This is awkward to get up from, if, by chance, the need arises to get back to the bathroom.

So, the move has been progressing slowly... yes, we moved in over a month ago, but I have not been so good about completing the project.  Our bedroom is an off-limits wonderland of boxes, cardboard, artwork, and half sorted baby clothes.  I should be working on it now, but when the girls are napping, I feel compelled to also nap.  This bodes ill for any progress that could be made.  But I cannot skip the nap!  you should see me without one... oh, baby, look out!  So onward to the nap.  Oh, in other news, my due date has been moved up to December 11th, which is nice, as that means about 2 weeks less to carry this little man, and a little more room to have a semi-normal Christmas. 

not a bashful boy

Here we have the traditional thumb-sucking ultrasound, pretty self-explanatory, really, not too abstract.  Now rotate, imagine you are looking up towards the kid's butt, and he's sticking his legs in the air...

Hopefully this post doesn't offend anyone, but I haven't had a chance to teach this kid modesty yet, and I think he has a healthy enjoyment of his own very newly grown anatomy. Names will be tricky, I think; Dan and I don't seem to be on quite the same page.  Isn't the arrow drawn by the ultrasound tech very nice?  as if we needed it.  What if we didn't want to know the sex of the baby? Good thing we did. I was just happy to find out that it was only one.  Very, very glad.  And I surprised myself with how excited I am for a little boy.   Now, hopefully , I can leave the pregnant part of my life behind me.  That may sound bad, but it is just really tough for me, and not the glowing, fun time that some expectant moms experience.  God bless those who love being pregnant, but that simply isn't me.  So I am just barely past halfway, at 21 weeks.

I am afraid

I am afraid of everything right now.   I am afraid that my ultrasound tomorrow will show 6 babies (or 2), and I will turn into a complete wreck of a human being.  I am halfway there already.  I am afraid to be too honest, because what if people start to figure me out, and then they realize that I am completely unoriginal, boring, and not even very nice?   I am afraid of the gigantic spidery thing that I have seen a couple of times in the living room.  I am afraid that I will never get out of debt, and eventually sink into a hole and disappear.  I am afraid that my girls will hit puberty and I will still not have learned to communicate effectively. Maybe I shouldn't be worrying about that yet... but still, I am, I do. I am afraid, and it is pitiful.  On the bright side, there is ice cream in the freezer.  Maybe if I eat some, I will feel brave. It's worth a shot.