Sunday, August 3, 2008
I am afraid
I am afraid of everything right now. I am afraid that my ultrasound tomorrow will show 6 babies (or 2), and I will turn into a complete wreck of a human being. I am halfway there already. I am afraid to be too honest, because what if people start to figure me out, and then they realize that I am completely unoriginal, boring, and not even very nice? I am afraid of the gigantic spidery thing that I have seen a couple of times in the living room. I am afraid that I will never get out of debt, and eventually sink into a hole and disappear. I am afraid that my girls will hit puberty and I will still not have learned to communicate effectively. Maybe I shouldn't be worrying about that yet... but still, I am, I do. I am afraid, and it is pitiful. On the bright side, there is ice cream in the freezer. Maybe if I eat some, I will feel brave. It's worth a shot.
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3 comments:
Hey Emily, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I just want to say I am sorry you are afraid right now.
However, you are extremely creative--a maker of beautiful, meaningful works--and I have always known you to be kind.
The spidery thing does sound really scary--maybe see if Dan can get rid of it sooner than later...
Thanks for writing so honestly, I will pray for you.
dude I wonder if it is slightly related to being pregnant. I laid awake in bed last night being freaked out about a variety of things myself!
Oh Emily... we are indeed kindred spirits and I never even knew it. I 100% understand every thing you just wrote. :) And just in case you were wondering, I think you're delightfully creative, nice, and great with your girls and will be a wonderful mom to your new little man, too. :)
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