might I have a bit of earth?

Ok, so it's not the secret garden, since it's on our porch steps and all, but we did enjoy the little bit of container planting we did yesterday...

We are pretty late to be planting seeds, I think - but who knows, really, cause gardening has never been my hobby. But if these little flowers and herbs can manage to flourish, who knows? Success can be addictive, maybe next year I'll be hanging strawberries in baskets and growing melons up the wall. This year, though, we will start small. Tomatoes, basil, dill, and some flowers. It's more a matter of wanting my kids to be involved in something productive and fun, and a really big project could just get left in the dust, because I get overwhelmed easily.

Rowan, poised and ready for the signal to pat down the dirt.

Genevieve scratches the seed with a file to aid in germination. That's what the seed envelope said to do...

Watering fun, with my new orange watering can!

Rowan took this picture, and I love it, cropping, composition, everything. Toes!

Rowan took this one, too, not bad!

Ok, I just yelled at my daughter for disobeying after several quiet-but-firm reminders, and I can hear her talking to Jesus about how she feels in the other room. Guilty or not guilty? Guilty, I guess. I should have just given her a consequence and stayed calm, but man! their stubborn refusal to obey a simple command when their mind is made up differently just gets under my skin.. aaaargh. I had better go make peace.

my Strawberry Shortcakes (and actual muffins)

I love when my girls help me to make better decisions. Like taking a close up of the strawberry muffins we just made, instead of trying to fit them all in... much better, thank you, Genevieve! On the other hand, I really hate when I allow myself to get worn down and harried by constant nagging and whining (the whining mostly from the smallest boy in our household). That is when I make extremely poor decisions, like allowing the girls to participate in the placing of pasta into boiling water, which resulted in one of my sweet girls burning herself pretty badly. Generally, they are not allowed to bring chairs to the stove. Who really knows why sometimes the rules go out of the window? At any rate, she is ok, just a burned hand and a really nasty blister. I, on the other hand, am feeling pretty guilty. But also confident that I make rules that make sense, and will not allow myself to feel insecure or doubtful of my choices, no matter what other parents may choose for their own offspring.

I love these little people, so much that it hurts. In a good way. They are really tough to deal with sometimes, but really, they bring me so much joy, and I have to remind myself, on the days when I feel like I really miss my old full-time job , that the sort of satisfaction I get from a project completed, or a client made happy, is nothing compared to the pure sweetness of love given and received, of lessons learned and true growth accomplished.

So the other day we were outside for the purpose of blowing tiny bubbles, and my wee ladies were decked out in pink right up to their hair bows. Wonderfully enough, we found some wild strawberries. And no, we didn't use them to make the muffins.
The light was lovely, the girls looked like real life Strawberry Shortcake dolls, and so I snapped away. Little surprises, like the wild berries, make an average day special. The girls were quite taken with them. And I am quite taken with my red-and-pink-themed post. For aesthetic reasons. Obviously.

a painting

I've spent the last week painting and repainting a canvas. The good news is that I painted almost every night last week. The bad news is that while I still retain some of the vestiges of my drawing ability, it seems like I have lost all painting chops. And then I got my hands invaded by an awful Bob Ross-like dotty syndrome. It was kind of terrifying. But by the end of the week, my brain seemed to kick back in. I was in the laundry room, just kind of staring in disgust at the 4th or 5th paint-over of the week, when I suddenly saw in my mind what the paint strokes should look like. Then I felt so silly to have truly forgotten what my paintbrush was supposed to be doing. I should have documented the progress, but it was so hideous, really, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

All weekend, I thought about finally getting back into it, and painting over that travesty in my laundry room. Tuesday night I finally did, and while the result is not awe-inspiring, it at least feels like me, and I can recognize something there. I worked a bit more last night, just to be sure it wasn't a fluke, and painting was still my friend. I do dislike acrylics heartily, and it's no replacement for oil, but I will use what I have and spare my kids the fumes in the living room for now. I do have an exhaust fan in the bedroom, though, and I may just have to work something out between my love of oil paint, my family's health, and that fan.

I am trying to find a balance between making choices that are uniquely mine (in my paintings), and yet referencing the truth. I find it hard. If I work from a photo, or life, I can get a bit carried away by the details, and the life(ironically) goes out of the painting. However, I am not so great with working completely from my mind. Yes, this is boring stuff, but I am desperately trying to get back in the swing. I have a project that is very close to my heart, and I really need to be in good shape, artistically. Now that I have mentioned being in good shape, I will complain a bit and say that time to myself is very limited, and so my working out time has been completely usurped by painting time. It's actually quite frustrating... can't I be in shape and do a little artwork? Perhaps I shall have to work out a schedule. That's not my strong suit.

confessions...

And this has nothing at all to do with telling my girlfriend that a girl who is not my girlfriend is in the family way, and it's all my fault...

It has more to do with the fact that my kids have never been to the beach. Or even to a real pool. Now I don't feel exactly guilty about this, ok, I sorta do. It's just that a day trip to the beach with two infants, or two toddlers and a giant sick pregnant belly, or three toddlers... it just sounds like a lot more trouble than it's worth. And Dan's #2 job requires that we be around for much of the summer, and Dan hates the beach, so a little vacay for him is not going to be beachy, most likely. But I would like for them to see the ocean. It's wrapped up in my childhood, although, I never actually went there with my own family. I guess there's still plenty of time... I just don't want them to be afraid of it.

And the pool, thing, well, that's just the way things have worked out. We don't have a pool, belong to a pool, or have any friends that have a pool, at least that I am aware of. But a pool? Now there's something Dan loves, and we need to at least get ourselves to a pool this summer.

So, I suppose it's just all this hotness and humidity over the weekend that has me panicking about my children's exposure to large bodies of water. I guess it isn't really ruing their childhood or anything; there are plenty of landlocked places where kids grow up never actually having seen the ocean. I have, I admit, pitied those children in the past, but now I will tell myself that they still have quality childhood memories, and most likely swam in lakes (no, my kids have never been to a lake, either!).

In other news, all this warmness has put us into the time where little 3 year old girls wear sun-dresses, and I really can't stand it because their shoulder blades are so cute!!! Although, I really also enjoy jeans and a cardigan with a sun-dress, at least on a very small girl... so I miss the cool spring like crazy already. I really don't do very well in the damp heat. I feel very claustrophobic, and gross, and I love air conditioning so much... but at the beach, none of that matters!