sigh.

So we are all sick here.  nasty, drippy, coughing, sick.  RSV is what the baby has, so probably we all have it, although it's not dangerous for us older-than-6-week-olds.  We all seem to be rehabilitating well enough, though, including Jude.  This morning I went to get the girls up, and found Genevieve, pitiful and still, face and hands covered in dried blood.  What a horror show.  This has happened before, so the shock is not what it once was.  I was tempted to take a picture, not because it was funny, it wasn't, but just so I could force someone else (Dan) to share my morning's experience.  Nosebleeds were something I dealt with as a kid, so it's familiar ground.

I had my postpartum checkup this week, and all systems are go, which is good news, and much to my surprise, my weight is what it was at my very first OB appointment.  This was completely unexpected, since I am nowhere near fitting into the clothes that I was wearing at that point.  It will be a good year, probably, before I can recognize myself.  But these things matter not at all in comparison with the job of mothering these 3 babes.  This is the toughest, scariest thing I have ever had to do.  It's driven home when illness strikes - I reflect on being responsible for lives, actual human lives.  Not just in rearing, discipline, self esteem, etc., but their very lives.  Frightening stuff.   The whole mom thing has been pretty rough lately.  I love my girls, but they are stretching me in ways I could not have imagined.  I guess it's just the age and the new baby, but good lord!  We are praying for patience - what else is there to do?  Any thoughts on spanking?