It is so enjoyable to be a mother of girls. Not babies, but real, full-fledged, pink-draped, glitter-loving GIRLS. We had a lovely day today, playing with the dollhouse, dressing up, giggling, and taking pictures. I loved it so much, we had a delightful interaction, lunch was eaten without complaint, and finally, a nap was calmly and happily taken (and is still in progress). I want to be a patient woman, one who can be confided in, a mother who is trusted with the delicate treasures that lie in the heart of sensitive little peanuts. Rowan and Genevieve are at a difficult age, as one might have gathered by previous posts, but they are also at a very wonderful age, where the things that they learn on a daily basis are quickly displayed, and their need for affirmation is painfully obvious. They communicate so eloquently, with their body language as much as their words, and I find that I can miss so much of what they are telling me, if I get caught up in being a mom who just wants everything to be easy, or convenient, or ...clean...I just really want to be present in this time of their lives. I catch myself wishing I could fast forward a bit. Jump to "potty training complete!" or, "Jude nurses every 4 or 5 hours", or "wow, those girls speak in very clear and complete sentences!", or presently, "they stay in bed at night, once we tuck them in". Ah, but so much would be missed, even though some trials would be skipped. I am trying to consider this, like other obstacles in my life, as character building. It feels like character cracking, though, sometimes. But I just need to keep mornings like this one in my heart and mind, like little snapshots, available to be pulled out and relived, when the not-so-sweet moments threaten to overwhelm me.
So my question right now is - when you tell your kid that a certain consequence will follow a certain disobedient act, but you realize that this particular consequence was not appropriate, maybe, do you follow through anyway, to be consistent, or do you drop it, and move on from there, considering it a lesson learned for Mommy? I am perhaps answering my own question. Ah, the joy of being wrong, and squirming in the knowledge! Progress is so hard to see when you are right in the thick of it.
4 comments:
Good question, great question--I wish I had an answer for you...
And I love that pic, as well as the way you are seeing so circumspectly right now. Perspective is such a weighty thing; this is a good reminder for all of life, though I can see how it is especially poignant for mothers;-)
Hey Emily! I didn't know you had a blog until Jess said she likes reading yours...I second Jess' comment about perspective. What a great thing to have, especially as a mom trying to balance having fun, disciplining, nurturing, and attempting to keep some degree of order. I'm glad I found your blog : )
I enjoy your blog so much, you are very eloquent. I find that I sometimes get a bit extreme and have to tell Bruce, ok, well let's try that again, if you have a time out that will be a better idea than a spank for something ridiculous as not picking up a sock (or whatever). I find that post coffee, pre 4pm I am more patient. pre-coffee (or caffine in tea form) and at supper prep time, I am not so nice mom. I think you rcharacter-buliding vs cracking commment struck a cord.
and now I am babbling.
but I do love tea parties. Lily is especially fond of them, but I am teaching Bruce that afternoon tea is a very manly thing as well ;) and messy. oh my gosh is everything so messy...
I love moments like this, when you realize that in the long run the great things about motherhood outweigh the hard things. As for your question ... I'm still learning too. My guess is that as long as you're more often consistent than inconsistent, those inconsistencies won't have a long term impact. A little wordy, but I imagine you get my point.
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