the grace I needed.

While wrestling mentally with how best to respond to my kids behavior, a freeing thought occurred to me. 

It doesn't matter. 

Not in the way that I often feel it matters. I'm never going to be a perfect mom with the answer to everything. But as long as I respond in truth and love, I can't miss the mark too badly. Whatever the consequence(within reason), whatever the issue, if I respond with love as the foundation, no matter what, I'm doing ok. 

A loving warning, a loving reprimand, a loving chance for them to work it out for a few more minutes, or a loving, "sorry, beans, but this is not acceptable and this is the consequence". There might be varying degrees of success, but the love is paramount. So, deep breath, they're just kids, but mom up. They need loving boundaries.  It's not loving to ignore behavioral problems, nor is it loving to flip out and have a Mommy tantrum.  Between these extremes, there is a lot of room. Room for trial and error, room for communication, room for trying new methods, room for growing, all of us together.  Maybe it's not earth-shattering, but it was the grace I needed.

Also, in cleaning out some long-neglected nooks and corners, I found this. An old self portrait in oils. It was oddly reminiscent of the last post, so I threw it up for comparison.